Gary Bencivenga & Perry Marshal | How To Craft The Perfect “Offer Lead” 

By  Csaba Borzasi

One of the hardest parts of a sales message to write is the so-called "Lead"...

Aka, the first 100-600 words of your promotion.

(the first part is usually the trickiest, in most things, not just copy)

But why is it so hard?

Because right off the bat, you immediately HAVE to:

1. Capture people's attention, in an era when there are so many distractions. So how can you do it effectively?

2. Next, you must motivate them to read your headline and sub-headline. How do you accomplish this? 

3. Promise some incredible benefits they will get after reading. You may offer solutions to the most pressing issues or refer to techniques that can increase earnings (or any other goal) multifold.

4. Use hooks and angles to speak to their emotions. Agitate the problem.

5. Build emotional rapport through vulnerability, transparency, and your personal struggle with their issues, if possible.

6. Tease the rest of your sales message.

7. Promise something EVEN MORE incredible for them at the end.

8. But, at the same time, support that promise with Proof.

9. AND the entire process should "seem" effortless…

In other words... writing good Leads is H.A.R.D.

Prefer video instead? Watch Below!

“Offer Leads” And When To Use Them

Fortunately, there's one type of lead that's probably easier to do than others...

But it ONLY works in certain specific situations.

However, when you use this type of lead in the correct context...

It can easily generate a tsunami of paying customers (or high-value prospects) almost immediately.

In today's post, I'm breaking down 2 different examples of this type of "Offer Lead"...

Written by 2 of the biggest titans in direct response history, Gary Bencivenga and Perry Marshal.

Notice how the lead feels so natural in both examples. These leads work best for product-aware or solution-aware audiences.

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Tax-sheltered Wealth Ad by Gary Bencivenga

The headline reads,

“Two of the most important lessons you’ll ever learn about amassing tax-sheltered wealth - They are yours free”

So, what stands out about the headline?

First, it’s the specificity. 

The headline promises the top 2 guiding principles to accumulate tax-free wealth for FREE!

Freebies are an incredibly effective marketing tool. Also, keep in mind that the ad was written decades ago, when this was a new concept.

Now, we know why this headline is pure gold!

The sub-headline promises two free introductory lessons from the course “Successful investing and money management”.

It opens the loop to the foundations of investment wealth.

Next, the key takeaways from the course are stated as bullets, which builds even more appeal.

With things like the promise of the most lucrative tax shelters for executives, legal tax-free dividends, and more cool benefits, Gary Bencivenga tries to qualify as many people as possible. 

People who invest in stocks, bonds, real estate, and more can all leverage the tax-sheltered wealth guide.

80/20 Marketing by Perry Marshal

“Stop just getting by. Master 80/20 and make more money without more work”

The headline addresses people who are doing just OK with their businesses. It teases the 80/20 rule to accelerate profits without additional investment.

The idea is to execute smartly to maximize returns by following certain principles in the book.

Everyone wants quicker, easier, and better approaches and if one gets a hang of how to use these, that will be a game changer.

Then, there is a pattern interrupt:

“Yours for one cent only”

Strange right? 

One cent + shipping means Perry Marshal doesn’t offer it for free explicitly, given that the perceived value of freebies is low.

It also qualifies people in segments. Those who really want it will take action and those who don’t will put it off.

With quality leads, there is the potential for more upsells, which is also the intent of this strategy.

Then, Perry Marshal addresses marketing professionals and gives a brief introduction. He shares how his new book is in high demand everywhere.

And then again, he offers the book for one cent plus shipping plus bonuses ONLY if you act now! 

That’s crazy, given the retail price is $22 on Amazon. An irresistible offer indeed.

“Get the paperback book plus instant bonuses”

The bonuses include a guide and an audio version of the book. This is basically the summary of essential concepts to save you time.

The lead is filled with testimonials from the most accredited professionals in the industry. 

And all that combined is why this sales letter is so effective!


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Interested in more great content on copywriting? Check out my Copywriting Resource Hub where you'll find in-depth guides, interesting case studies, and practical resources that will help you boost your conversions and sell more, without being salesy or aggressive.

Csaba Borzasi

Csaba Borzási is the founder of Game of Conversions. After spending 10 years learning the ins and outs of persuasion psychology, Csaba now focuses on what he loves most: helping ambitious entrepreneurs grow their online business and get more profitable customers. When he isn't geeking out on discovering how the human mind works, you can probably find him climbing a mountain, dancing salsa, or traveling around the globe.

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