The ad: “Shoestring businesses that you or your wife can start now and run in your spare time!” (1982)
The copywriter: Gary Bencivenga
The big idea: dozens of little-known, cheap-to-start businesses – and real people already making money with them
The offer: A Treasury of Business Opportunities, a book by David D. Seltz, with a money-back guarantee
The lesson: urgent problem + unique promise + unquestionable proof + user-friendly proposition = persuasion.
Welcome to Issue #3 of my “Proven Sales Letter Breakdown” challenge.
For 100 days, I’m deconstructing famous sales letters, print ads, and sales pages that cumulatively have generated billions of dollars in profits.
These were written by copywriting titans like Gary Halbert, Gary Bencivenga, Joe Sugarman, and many more.
Today, I’m talking about Gary Bencivenga, one of my personal copywriting heroes.
If you haven’t heard of Gary before, let me tell you a little bit about him.
Who is Gary Bencivenga?
Gary is widely considered to be the best living copywriter today.
Even though he’s retired now, no one has been able to surpass his incredible success.
Why is that? Well, during his career, Gary had an incredible hit ratio of over 80%.
This means that out of 10 promotions he wrote, 8 of them outperformed anything else written by anyone else, regardless of the niche.
These promotions became proven winners that companies have been using for years or even decades.
Rodale Press – the book publisher – put it like this:
Gary’s writing may not be as emotional as Gary Halbert‘s style, but it’s still incredibly effective.
Gary knows exactly what to say to convince people to make a purchase.
This is something we can all strive for as marketers.
Gary’s research process and narrative style speak directly to the core of people’s desires, which is why his promotions outperform the competition.
Even the best copywriters today would be happy with a hit ratio of 50%… so just imagine how good Gary must have been.
If you want to learn some of Gary’s secrets and see a shining example of how to sell a book, this post is for you.
(This is Day 3 of my 100-Day Proven Sales Letter Breakdown Challenge. Prefer video? Here’s the full breakdown.)
(Every Bencivenga ad I’ve broken down is on my Gary Bencivenga hub, in one place.)
The simplest structure that sells a book
I think it was Gary Halbert who said it.
When you’re stuck for a big idea and you’re selling something simple, like a book, all you really need is:
A headline.
A short introduction.
LOTS of bullets that build desire.
And a strong call to action.
That’s exactly what Gary Bencivenga did here. And notice how it looks like a newspaper article… not an ad.
Even though this ad was written in 1982, it still speaks to our core desires today.
Selling a book, a low-ticket offer or a tripwire? Headline + short intro + a wall of bullets + one clear call to action. Still works.
“Shoestring businesses that you or your wife can start now…”
Here’s the headline:
(Want to read the full swipe – marked up with my personal notes and comments? It’s one of the 100 annotated sales letters inside my Million Dollar Copywriting Swipe Library.)
Now ask yourself: aren’t you intrigued? After all, who wouldn’t be?
Let’s look closer:
“Shoestring” – this is doable. You don’t need to be a business mogul. You don’t need an MBA.
“You or your wife” – clever. Big decisions like starting a business are made at the kitchen table. So you don’t just sell the reader… you sell the spouse too.
(And in the ’80s, a lot of women were starting businesses of their own. Maybe she had the better idea.)
“Now” – nobody reading this wanted a five-year plan.
“Spare time” – it doesn’t take over your life. It could almost be a hobby that makes money.
The dream that never gets old
Everyone wants to make money faster, better, with less effort.
If someone shows you how to start a successful business on a shoestring budget, in your spare time…
What could be better?
That’s why you see viral content with titles like “How James made $16K in 4 months as an email copywriter.”
People are always looking for a way out of the rat race. And if there’s a simpler formula out there?
They want it.
The Gary Bencivenga Persuasion Equation
This is the core of today’s breakdown.
The Bencivenga Persuasion Equation is a simple structure for moving people to take action – subscribe, buy, whatever you want them to do.
It has four parts:
1 – An urgent problem
2 – A unique promise
3 – Unquestionable proof
4 – A user-friendly proposition
Have all four… and you’ve got persuasion.
Your message speaks to an urgent problem. You offer a unique solution.
You back it with proof nobody can argue with.
And you make it easy to say yes.
Simple? Yes.
You could make it 100 times more complicated. You don’t have to.
Starting with proof
The first part of the ad – right after the headline – is ALL proof.
Gary answers the question “Why should I listen to you?” by introducing David D. Seltz… a management consultant and “one of the nation’s foremost authorities on small businesses.”
12 books. Over 2,000 articles.
And then the line that does the heavy lifting:
The book is called A Treasury of Business Opportunities.
In one short paragraph, Gary packs unquestionable proof, super specifics, the unique promise AND the unique mechanism.
Nobody else had compiled this many shoestring businesses in one place.
That’s why I love Gary’s copy. It never sounds fluffed up.
He just knows exactly what to say… and when to say it.
It is for everyone!
Then the bullets start.
And each one gives a sneak peek at how regular people earn good money with simple services.
No advertising needed.
No MBA. No big investment. No connections.
Only a few people even know about these opportunities.
Bullets from the ad
“How Michael S. makes $50,000 a year in a small community by providing a little-known service needed by the graduating class of every school and college.”
Proof, a promise AND a qualifier in one line. “If Michael can do it, why can’t I?”
“How James P. charges $2,000 for a simple service most businesses need but few people are aware of. He doesn’t even advertise.”
A huge pain point. Everyone stresses about where the next customer comes from.
“How Ronald P. earns $100 a week on a $200 investment, supplying a service needed by most storefront merchants.”
Proof + promise + curiosity. All in one bullet.
“A unique new product that’s selling like wildfire to religious people – and gives you a 500% markup.”
A whole new segment of the audience, qualified in one line.
One bullet qualifies students. Another one qualifies people who own land.
Gary qualifies almost EVERYONE.
(Modern copywriters would split some of these long paragraphs into two or three bullets. Gary didn’t have the space – it was a newspaper ad. Online, you can make the page as long as you like.)
How Gary Bencivenga triggers your greed response
Short and punchy
“An easy-to-start business that nets up to $25,000 in summer months alone.”
Big number. Short season.
“No employees needed.”
One objection, gone.
“You could run it from a phone booth.”
It’s THAT simple. (Or so it sounds.)
These may sound too good to be true. But Gary backs every one of them with proof.
Using future pacing, he takes the reader into that ideal state – financially free, doing simple, little-known services.
Greed is a powerful persuasion tool. And a 500% markup? That’s greed on steroids.
Then he says: “This is just the beginning.”
If the reader already thinks it’s too good to be true – wait till you hear the rest.
Tease… never tell
And then even more bullets. Each one with a strong promise… and NONE of them revealing the actual secret.
The mystery bullets
“The “dead flower” strategy that requires only one visit per customer per month – yet brings in up to $25,000 a year.”
A dead flower strategy? What could THAT be?
“A product that costs pennies to make, sells for $5 and is wanted by thousands in just about every community.”
Which product? You’ll have to buy the book.
“An exclusive club that can bring you more than $50,000 a year from people who feel privileged to pay a hefty membership fee “just for the right to belong.””
Status + recurring income. Who wouldn’t want to know?
“How to get people all over your community to gladly lend you their cars – and then just as gladly pay you up to $50,000 a year to perform one simple non-mechanical act with those cars.”
My favorite. What on earth is the “non-mechanical act”?!
The curiosity level is over 9,000 at this point.
When you tease a hot new opportunity… don’t give the secret away.
That’s the whole point.
The reader puts the newspaper down… and can’t sleep.
Because his mind keeps chewing on the car thing… and the club thing… and the dead flowers.
At some point, it’s easier to just buy the damn book.
The benefit tsunami
Gary answers objections INSIDE the bullets too.
“Depression-proof” – for the reader thinking “what if it fails after a year?”
More specifics: $22, $8, $85. Who would make up numbers like these?
It’s a benefit tsunami. It just keeps going… and going… until it washes every objection away.
And he saves what I think is the most appealing benefit for last:
The close: simple and friendly
A toll-free number.
A money-back guarantee.
Done.
Then the order form, which works like a P.S. for the skimmers who jumped straight to the bottom:
An oversized book that uncovers dozens of little gold mine businesses… everything you need to start in your spare time with minimum capital.
And a first-person call to action:
Would the “Shoestring Businesses” ad still work today?
I think so.
If you were selling a book, you could use this exact structure – even on cold traffic.
You’d split the long paragraphs into punchier bullets.
And you’d need upsells to make the media buying profitable.
But the equation itself doesn’t care what decade it is.
How much did this ad sell? I honestly don’t know.
But it’s a Gary Bencivenga ad that copywriters still study 40+ years later.
That tells you something.
5 lessons to steal from Gary Bencivenga
1 – Run every promotion through the equation. Urgent problem, unique promise, unquestionable proof, user-friendly proposition. Missing one? Fix it before you write another word.
2 – Sell the person next to your reader. “You or your wife” gives the reader a reason to bring the idea home.
3 – Lead with proof. 14 months, 18,292 opportunities, 12 books. Specific numbers beat adjectives every time.
4 – Tease, never tell. Dead flowers, borrowed cars, an exclusive club. If the bullet gives the secret away, it’s not a fascination.
5 – Save a killer bullet for last. And point it to a page number.
That’s Day 3.
See all the proven sales letter breakdowns →
More Gary Bencivenga ads: all of them on the Bencivenga hub · the Kurobuta ham letter · the offer lead · the Health Confidential offer
More like this: Bencivenga’s “64 Toughest Interview Questions” · Gary Bencivenga’s agency ad
And if you want the “secret recipe” behind ads like this one – the persuasion pattern I kept seeing over and over during these 100 days – grab it here:
Free cheat sheet
Steal the “Secret Recipe” Behind the Most Profitable Sales Letters of All Time
The 7-part structure I kept finding in proven sales letters – plus a 26-point checklist that catches the holes in your copy before it goes live.
Send Me the Secret Recipe →-Csaba
P.S. – A lot of people have been asking about the sales letter swipes I’ve used for this 100-day challenge…
They’d love to get access not just to the swipes themselves…
…But to my detailed notes, annotations and comments on them as well.
So I put them all together in my Million Dollar Copywriting Swipe Library – 100 of the best sales letters of all time, annotated and marked up. Plus a 2,000+ page swipe vault of emails, sales pages and Facebook ads.
It’s less than a buck per annotated sales letter… and some of these bad boys are 50+ pages long!
(PRO TIP: you can even feed them into your AI tools to make them that much smarter.)
